I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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