I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
