Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Still dying that you shit outside
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize