I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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