i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
