What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
