If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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