so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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