I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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