I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
