It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
