laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
