If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
