i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
