Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
