I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
