At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
