I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Randomize
