i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
