Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
