I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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