the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
