Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
