What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
