my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Randomize
