who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
