oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
