Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
