hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
