This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize