she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
