Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
