forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
