frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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