In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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