I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's no shave November. This is our time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
