I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
