Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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