wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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