you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
