i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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