Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
