So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
