I could have mohawked her pubes.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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