HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
