So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
