a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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