My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
