no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
