just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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