You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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