Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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