WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
