I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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