thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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