Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
