yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
