whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
