no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
