I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
