i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
