Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
