He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
