real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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