Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
