i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
