I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
