That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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